Want to Live Longer? Get a Second Wife.

Want to live a little longer? Get a second wife. New research suggests that men from polygamous cultures outlive those from monogamous ones.

After accounting for socioeconomic differences, men aged over 60 from 140 countries that practice polygamy to varying degrees lived on average 12% longer than men from 49 mostly monogamous nations, says Virpi Lummaa, an ecologist at the University of Sheffield, UK.

Lummaa presented her findings last week at the International Society for Behavioral Ecology’s annual meeting in Ithaca, New York.

Rather than a call to polygamy, the research might solve a long-standing puzzle in human biology: Why do men live so long?

This question only makes sense after asking the same for women, who - unlike nearly all other animals - live long past the menopause.

Enforced monogamy

One answer seems to be a phenomenon called the grandmother effect. For every 10 years a woman survives past the menopause, she gains two additional grandchildren, Lummaa says. It seems that doting on and spoiling grandchildren aids their survival, as well as furthering some of their grandmother’s genes.

Men, by contrast, can reproduce well into their 60s and even 70s and 80s, and most researchers assumed this explained their longevity. But Lummaa and colleague Andy Russell wondered whether other factors explained the long lifespan of men, such as a grandfather effect.

To test this possibility, the team analysed church-gathered records for 25,000 Finns from the 18th and 19th centuries. People tended to move little, no one practiced contraception and the Lutheran Church enforced monogamy.

Only widowed men could remarry, and if they had children with their new wife, they fathered more kids, on average, than men who married once.

But ultimately remarried men "don’t end up with any more grandchildren," Lummaa says. "If anything the presence of a grandfather was associated with decreased survival of grandchildren."

Perhaps, Lummaa adds, the children of the first mother lose out on food and resources that go to the second mother’s kids. "It's kind of the Cinderella effect."

Even fathers with only one wife provided no benefit to their grandchildren, a finding supported by previous research.

Biological selection

With the grandfather effect ruled out, Lummaa and Russell next wondered whether the constraints of human physiology explain male longevity. In the same way that men have nipples that evolved for women to nourish their young, male longevity might be a consequence of biological selection for long-lived women.

To answer this question, the researchers compared the lifespan of men from polygamous countries with those from monogamous nations.

Using data from the World Health Organization, Lummaa and Russell scored 189 countries on a monogamy scale of one to four - totally monogamous to mostly polygamous. They also took into account a country's gross domestic product and average income to minimise the effect of better nutrition and healthcare in monogamous Western nations.

Lummaa stressed that their monogamy score is a crude first stab, and they are working to find multiple ways to assess marriage patterns. The conclusions could evaporate under further analysis, she adds.

If female survival is the main explanation for male longevity, then monogamous and polygamous men would live for about the same length of time. Instead, it seems that fathering more kids with more wives leads to increased male longevity. Men, then, live long because they're fertile well into their grey years.

The explanation could be both social and genetic. Men who continue fathering kids into their 60s and 70s could take better care for their bodies because they have mouths to feed. But evolutionary forces acting over thousands of years could also select for longer-lived men in polygamous cultures.

"It's a valid hypothesis and good prediction," says Chris Wilson, an evolutionary anthropologist at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, who attended the talk. But the care and attention of several wives who depend on the social status of their ageing husband could explain everything. "It doesn't surprise me that men in those societies live longer than men in monogamous societies, where they become widowed and have nobody to care for them."



adult online dating - for the shy
woman finds husband using a blog
survey - covered online dating
online dating - post divorce therapy

Smokers More Appealing To Singles Now Than a Few Years Ago: Survey

The stigma around smoking has become so pronounced that, to borrow a phrase from Denis Leary, it seems the only place folks can light up is in their apartment, under a blanket, with all the lights out.

But despite the taboo, a new nationwide survey shows significantly more Canadians would consider dating a smoker now than three years ago.

In 2005, Ipsos-Reid asked 884 Canadian adults for Lavalife if they would date a smoker. Fully 56 per cent said they would not. This year, the dating website asked the same question of 6,313 Canadian adults and found the proportion of people unwilling to start a relationship with a smoker had dropped nine points to 47 per cent - 43 per cent of men and 51 per cent of women.

According to one researcher, however, that doesn't mean smoking is getting sexy.

James Fowler, an expert on the social costs of smoking, says anti-tobacco messages and bylaws have been so successful in stigmatizing cigarettes in recent years that lighting up has been transformed from a public act to a private vice. The survey results could be interpreted as a victory for the anti-smoking movement: he believes they suggest many non-smokers have forgotten "how gross it is" to be around tobacco users.

"The incidences of smoking are declining so much that people have fewer and fewer persistent, direct exposure to smokers," says Fowler, a professor at the University of California, San Diego. "The consequence is that when someone asks them in the abstract, 'Would you date a smoker,' it affects their answer."

The latest Canadian Tobacco Use Monitoring Survey shows smoking rates in Canada have declined by almost one-half in the last two decades, from 35 per cent in 1985 to 19 per cent (just under five million people age 15 and older) in 2006.

Among the ex-smokers is Lorna Stelmack, an Edmonton office manager who, after quitting in 1999, swore she'd never date a man who smoked.

Recently, however, she reconsidered after meeting a potential mate who liked to light up.

"I can't sweat the small things. Life's too short," says Stelmack. "I think people are just making their own choices now more than ever. People are more open."

Another possibility to explain the renewed acceptance, say experts, is that campaigns about the dangers of smoking and second-hand smoke are losing impact. A recent Health Canada report showed the percentage of smokers who find cigarette packages' graphic images ineffective has climbed five points to 57 per cent in the last five years.

Federal financial commitments also changed during that time, says Rob Cunningham, senior policy analyst for the Canadian Cancer Society.

"Five years ago, Health Canada was spending about $25 million annually on mass-media advertising campaigns to discourage smoking," he says. "Those campaigns have now been eliminated."

On balance, however, Cunningham believes the survey findings gives hope to those who would like to snuff out smoking, which causes 37,000 deaths each year in Canada.

"Essentially, half of people would not date a smoker, and that's a lot," he says. "For young people, this is a potential piece of information that could influence their smoking decision."

Daniele Parent, an etiquette coach from Montreal, didn't think dating a smoker would be a big deal when she launched a new romance.

"Perfection is quite boring" in a partner, she says.

But now that their relationship has gotten serious, she finds his habit is becoming a source of conflict.

"My boyfriend is so charming and has a lot of good qualities. But I find this little thing is really starting to bother me," says Parent. "I won't live with him until he stops, and that's a problem."

The 2005 survey is considered accurate within 3.3 percentage points, 19 times out of 20. The 2008 survey is considered accurate within 1.23 percentage points, 19 times out of 20.



things your woman wants to hear
survey - covered online dating
sex in space could be out of this world
wanted ugly ducklings

More Hong Kong's Girls Lured Into "Compensated Dating"

More and more underaged girls are going into "compensated dating" because they have a choice of clients and it does not involve sex, according to a study by the Democratic Alliance for the Betterment and Progress of Hong Kong.

The girls, some as young as 15, are not aware of the consequences, the study says, and can suffer from physical and psychological harm should they be forced to serve violent clients.

Family debts, it was found, drive some to the sex trade.

Compensated dating, which originated in Japan in 1994, involves older men giving money and luxury gifts to young women, working individually or with agents, for their companionship.

The DAB collaborated with the Yang Memorial Methodist Social Service, which investigated six women aged between 16-18.

The DAB also interviewed some of the women involved.

The investigation showed most of the girls involved in compensated dating were not from underprivileged families, although most had financial problems or poor family relationships. The young women also believed that compensated dating differed from sex work because they had a choice of clients.

Chan Chung-cheung, of the DAB's West Kowloon youth network, said this was the main reason why many of those working in compensated dating did not seek assistance from associations for sexual workers.

"The agencies may tempt the girls to join by guaranteeing them stable income and quality clients. However, some may also threaten them if they refuse to go with clients," Chan said. The young women involved, who refer to themselves as companions, usually form small communities to exchange information in blacklisting clients or discussing their daily meeting venues.

However, there is nothing to protect them from violence, Chan said.

"They can suffer from physical and psychological harm, but these young girls are not aware of the consequences."

The DAB also checked between 20 and 30 companions who priced themselves from HK$800 to HK$1,500 in internet ads. A 22-year-old woman named Man Man said she got involved in compensated dating about a year ago and later also provided sexual services.

She earns a low salary as a saleswoman and her family has debts amounting to HK$300,000.

Having no other way to pay these debts, Man Man started looking for clients through the internet, charging about HK$1,000 each time.

Man Man said the number of "companions" usually increases during the summer vacation.



dos and donts of "dating at work"
bad dating experiences offer good lessons
men protest against sex-toy discrimination
pros and cons of "double dating"

University Professor Fired For Dating Student

The Yomiuri Shimbun

A Tokyo Gakugei University professor has been dismissed for dating a female student and sending e-mails inviting two other female students out on dates, the university announced Tuesday.

The university said the professor, a married man in his 60s, had been dating a student he taught in a seminar class from about June 2005.

The student was reportedly troubled about her relationship with the professor and attempted suicide on a number of occasions. She took absence last year from the university in Koganei, Tokyo, before dropping out in March.

The extent of her suffering became clear when she lodged a complaint with the university in January.

The professor reportedly also sent about 20 e-mails inviting two other female students out to dinner and for car rides.



new dating web site matches users by music preference
debunking common dating myth
site that helps bust online dating scams
high tech dating - DNA style

Keira Knightley Says No To Airbrushing Her Boobs

She's famously flat-chested - but just as well known as a buxom pirate girl - and now Keira Knightley has revealed the secrets of her seemingly versatile cleavage.

Miss Knightley, who has described her naturally small breasts as 'pecs', has confessed that her busty transformation is all down to make-up.

The slightly built 22-year-old Atonement actress shot to worldwide fame in the blockbuster Pirates Of The Caribbean - with breasts spilling over the tight corset she wore in the role of Elizabeth Swann.

Growth Spurt: Slimline Keira in Gucci at a premiere (left) and an enhanced Kiera for Pirates of the Caribbean (right)

But it was all an illusion, made possible by the film-studio art of "bosom make-up". It is a skill from Hollywood's golden age that fell out of favour with the advent of silicone enhancement.

Miss Knightley said: "They painted my t**s on me for the films, which is extraordinary because it's kind of a dying art form - in the past, they used to have whole sections of the studios devoted to bosom make-up.

"And I loved it, completely loved it. Because it was the first time in my life I had big t**s, and I didn't even need surgery.'

She said the process of creating the cleavage took 45 minutes every morning before filming started.

A make-up artist would apply a slightly darker shade of base make-up between Miss Knightley's own breasts to create a shadow to increase the 'cleavage effect'.

The actress's assets were digitally enhanced in movie posters for her 2004 film King Arthur. In British versions she appeared in her natural state, but in posters for the US they had grown to a C-cup size, causing much debate among cinema-goers.

Miss Knightley said she was anxious not to be typecast in her Pirates role and took the risk of appearing in the 2005 film Domino as a model turned bounty-hunter.

In an interview in Easy Living magazine the actress, who is dating actor Rupert Friend, tells how she solved the dilemma of nudity required in Domino after being told by director Tony Scott that the role called for her naked bottom to be displayed on screen during a sex scene.

"I said, 'You can have my t**s, but you can't have my a**.' And he was going, 'I just want the a**; I don't want the t**s.'

"Then one day Tony called me in to his office and there were three very beautiful women standing there completely naked, and I couldn't quite take my eyes off bits of them.

"And he said, 'Which one do you want, then?'"

The actress was being asked to pick a derrière-double. She said: "I did pick a very beautiful bum."

dating tips for nice guys
adult dating sites - nothing to be ashamed of
sweet smell of success
sex in car - carosutra

How To Be Successful At Online Dating

Many people in today's world are looking to the internet to meet other people, whether for friendship, love, or sex. Internet dating services have sprung up all over the internet with amazing speed. All interests, nationalities, religions, and ethnicities are represented. Although there is a wealth of services available, why do so many people say that they are not meeting the people they truly want to? Is it truly possible that people can meet and develop the type of relationships they are looking for online? Yes, it is, providing you know how to use online dating to your best advantage.

Because there is so much variety in the places where a person can look for other people, it is imperative that a goal is set before beginning. Decide whether the purpose is to simply meet people, to date casually, to form a long term relationship, or to simply find a sex partner. Know what the final achievement should be before setting out. Know your own mind before trying to convince another person that you would be great to get to know.

Once your goal is firmly established, search out the site or sites that best suit your needs. Are you looking for a long term relationship? Then do not consider places that cater primarily to those individuals who are only seeking out sex partners. There are hundreds of sites on the internet. Peruse them carefully for the ones that fall in line with your own interests and goals.

Not all dating services are alike. Most do have either a free section or some sort of free trial period. Take advantage of these free amenities, if the site interests you. Be careful that by choosing the free memberships, you will be limited as to the services you will be able to engage in. Some may only let you send one email a day. Others may limit your browsing capability. Others will not allow you to send email. Taking advantage of a free membership or trial period is a great way to get a feel for the site and to see if there are other people who share your interests and have the same purpose for being on that site. However, do check out the cost for membership, and be certain you are aware of the length of contract, if you can cancel at any time, and if the site will automatically recharge a credit card after your time expires. There are many good, reputable sites available, and there are some whose reputation is less than stellar. Make your selection wisely.

All online dating sites have you place an ad. Do this carefully. Find a quiet place and take your time writing out what you want to say about yourself and the person you would like to meet. Remember, this is often the first impression another person has of you and if your ad is filled with spelling errors or phrases that are not well thought out, your ad might be bypassed for another one. Be certain you spell out exactly what you are looking for, and be open about the kind of person you are. However, there is a balance, and you do not want to end up writing a book about yourself. Nobody reads ads that are overly long. Try to maintain a little mystique about yourself. That will give the other person something to ask you questions about, as well as want to get to know you better.

Normally, you will have to post some general or specific information about yourself regarding looks, ethnicity, marital status, religion, or any other topic that might be of interest to another person. Always be honest. Remember, people will be basing their response to your ad partially on how you answer these questions, and if they meet you only to discover you lied, the relationship is over before it began. Sometimes it is hard to be honest, especially if you feel that it will lessen your chances at finding another person. But that honesty in the long run is what is going to hold you above the rest.

Always try to post a picture of yourself. Face it, we all base our initial response to some one based on a physical look. That may or may not be fair, but it is truthful. Many times, people won't post a picture because they want their words to do the impressing. However, there comes a time when the other person will ask for a picture or will meet you in person. They might be impressed with you from your words, but what if they aren't? It is best to post a picture at the site, if possible. Many sites will allow you to post more than one picture, and some will allow pictures of full or partial nudity. However, for a main picture, the one that normally accompanies the ad, it is best to use a close up facial shot, with just you in the pictures. Avoid having other people appear in the picture – especially if they are of the opposite sex. Do you really think that hot gal or guy is going to think that person in your picture is just your cousin? The picture should also be fairly recent. Try to avoid posting something that is 10 years old as it really doesn't work. If you have the option of posting more than one picture, consider full body shots, candid shots, shots with groups of friends, or anything that will give some one an idea of what kind of person you are. Avoid nudity unless you are only looking for a sexual partner. It is important to note that most non-sexual oriented sites will not allow you to post pictures that contain nudity. If you have difficulty getting your picture posted, ask for assistance! People who post pictures are far more likely to receive replies to their ads and have their initial inquiries answered than those individuals who do not post pictures.

Most sites offer some sort of chat service. It can be difficult for some to get used to that environment, but it is helpful in meeting other people. It puts your name out there, and allows you to display a little of your personality. If you like to chat, it's a great way to meet other people. If you don't like chatting, perhaps just checking in occasionally is might be more your style.

When it comes time to search for people, try to be as open as you can in your search criteria. That Pamela Anderson look a like or Brad Pitt's double is probably not going to be hanging around waiting to meet you. Keep in mind that the majority of people who post ads are just ordinary people. If there is certain criterion that must be met, such as age, then try to select as broad a range as you can. You will probably not respond to all the people who come up on your search, but you want to give yourself a broad range to select from.

When choosing who to contact, be certain you take the time to look at the person's ad. If you just look at the person's picture, you are more likely to be disappointed. Read what the person took the time to write. You might find that the two of you have differing purposes and expectations. If you want a long term relationship and the other person is looking for casual dating, there will be conflict from the start. Check carefully to determine what aspects the other person is looking for in the one they are searching for. Does it describe you? Good! If it doesn't, you can still try to capture the person's attention, but bear in mind you might not get far. That's okay, however! At least you tried!

Try to initiate a lot of emails or private messages to various people. The wider the net is cast, the more fish you are liable to catch. Keep your initial email short, sweet, and simple. After all, you are simply introducing yourself. Invite the other person to check out your ad and get in touch with you. Keep in mind that most people get several responses to their ads a week, so you are likely not the only one who is responding. But that does not lessen your chances at having them look at your ad and consider you.

When you receive responses to your ad, try to respond to every one. This can seem daunting sometimes, but it is the courteous thing to do. If you are not interested, simply thank the other person for responding to your ad and let them know that you are not interested at this time. If they persist or harass you, warn them that you will notify the site administrators. If it continues, follow through with notification, if possible, block the person.

If you receive responses that interest you, be certain to keep your response short and include another way to get in touch with you. Be careful about giving out phone numbers, however. Include an email where the person might contact you, unless you feel more comfortable using the site's email service. Be aware that if the site sends you responses through your email address, and you respond, your email address will appear on the response. Be certain to erase it if you do not want the other person to know your email at this time.

It is always a good idea to take things a little slowly on the internet. People can be whoever they want to be, and may not be representing themselves honestly. Try to establish an email connection with the other person first, possibly moving to an instant messaging system for real time, one on one chat. Only when you feel comfortable with the other person should you exchange phone numbers. Realize that some people are initially shy even though they appear to be rather outgoing on the computer. It may take a while for the other person to feel comfortable around you, or vice versa.

When the time comes to meet, try to be courteous. Don't reply to an ad and expect that person to meet you that night or even that weekend. Keep in mind they have a life as do you, and they may not be immediately available to you. Ask if they would like to meet and settle on a date and time. It is a good idea to keep the first meeting casual and brief. If things move along well, you can always stay or make plans for another day. Be certain to meet the person in a public place, and be certain that some one knows exactly where you are. In the BDSM community they have "safe calls", and it is a good idea to incorporate into the online dating scene. Make prior arrangements with a close friend or relative to call you at a pre-determined time. Instruct the friend or relative that if you do not answer the first time to call back a few minutes later. If you still do not answer, instruct them to call the police. This might seem a little weird, but with so many people meeting strangers on the internet and then simply disappearing or ending up badly injured, you are better safe than sorry.

Go to the meeting with lowered expectations. Expect to meet a friend, a buddy. Don't meet the person expecting to meet the love of your life. You will be disappointed. By lowering your expectations, you allow room for growth. And, if things don't work out, you just might have a new friend! People can be shy at first meetings, so check your opinion if you think the other person is being snobbish or quiet. They may simply be shy. Try to emphasize asking questions about the other person. People love to talk about themselves, and this is a good way to get a shy person out of his/her shell.

Most importantly, have fun. Online dating is a way for you to meet others with the same likenesses and expectations and goals. Be honest and truthful with yourself and the other person, and simply enjoy the idea of being able to meet new and interesting people!


more sex we get more we want
how to meet people online
sweet smell of success
how to be successful at online dating

British Now Are Multiple Daters Rather Than Serial Monogamists

www.independent.co.uk
Once British singles would go out find someone special, fall in love and settle down. Now there seems to be a new norm - and it's called Manhattan-style dating.

According to a new survey, unless you've said the words "exclusive", don't expect monogamy from day one. One in four UK men and over a third of women would openly date two, three or four people in the early stage of a relationship.

According to the classic style of British courtship, your eyes might meet across a crowded pub, you'd have a chat and you might exchange mobile numbers. Over the next few days you'd swap a few text messages, speak on the phone and arrange to go out for a drink or a bite to eat. Then came the (possibly drunken) snog at the end of the first date and, if you still liked each other,m you'd arrange another few dates, same pattern, plus or minus sex. At first you'd just be "seeing each other" and after a few weeks you'd somehow drop into conversation that you were boyfriend and girlfriend. And hey presto, you were a couple.

New York state of mind
In Manhattan it's a whole different game, as viewers of Sex in the City will have seen. You exchange phone numbers ... He might not call for a few weeks and then it's "Do you want to hang out some time?" It might well have taken him all this time to phone because he's busy with the three other women he's dating at the moment. But you're not too concerned ... Until you're exclusive, it's not really any of your business. You meet for a coffee or a drink - after all, you don't want to risk wasting a whole evening if it's going nowhere.

As for snogging, it appears that nice girls in New York don't do that on a first date. You might arrange another date or you might not get another phone call for another two weeks. By which time you've probably been on dates with two or three other people. But this is all OK because you're both been regularly dating different people and there's no need for expectations until you've had the official "I want this to be exclusive" conversation.

Atlantic crossing
To cut a long story short, the latest surveys from PARSHIP show that we're becoming more New York-like in our dating patterns. The average single person in Britain has been on six dates in the last 12 months. The same statistic three years ago was just two.

So we're getting out there more. But are we quite at the point of feeling comfortable with dating several different people at once (during the bit where you're just "seeing each other")?

Well the answer is that more single people in the UK now think it's ok - that's 25% of men and 36% of women, but not quite yet the majority.

Taking it online
Quite apart from any possible Mahattan influence as seen in Sex and the City, the real driver behind this trend is probably the huge growth in online dating over the last five years. 55% of single people looking for a relationship intend to use the Web to find love over the next 12 months.

And with the Internet comes a greater choice of people to date. Everyone is giving it a whirl, from celebrities to doctors and lawyers, but it's no short cut to a relationship. You might even find you're up against some competition. While the Web provides a great opportunity to meet other singles, you might typically have to date several different people before you meet "The One". Basically, no-one wants to put all their eggs in one basket on the first date - especially if you've been emailing a couple of other potential dates.

So now we go on more dates than ever before, and frequently date non-exclusively, but the explanation probably lies more with the rise of online dating than with a shift in core values - or the effect of Sarah Jessica Parker.


more sex we get more we want
sex swap husband to live with wife as a lesbian
could sex save your life
park in south russia gets amsterdam-inspired breast sculpture

Statue In Honor Of Prostitutes Unveiled

Amsterdam’s Red Light District is now home to a bronze statue in honor of prostitutes around the world — the first and only such monument in the world.

The statue was unveiled during the Red Light District’s 2nd Annual Open Day.

Titled Belle, the monument depicts a full-breasted woman who, feet apart and standing in a doorway at the top of small set of steps, looks self-assuredly into the world.

It was created by artist Els Rijerse from ’s-Graveland, Netherlands.

The bronze sculpture — which stands on Oudekerksplein in front of the Oude Kerk, Amsterdam’s oldest church — was designed at the initiative of Mariska Majoor, of the Prostitution Information Center.

According to Majoor, herself a former prostitute, the statue is meant to show respect to the millions of people around the world who earn their money in prostitution.

The same square, bordered by pubs, coffee shops and bordellos, already sports a sculpture of a hand caressing a breast, one of several bronze and iron statues donated to the city of Amsterdam by an unknown artist.

In order to prevent vandalism, the statue is fortified with steel. Belle is perched atop a high, granite pedestal meant to deter those who engage in so-called ‘wild-peeing.’

Hours before the statue was unveiled, Mariska Majoor was physically assaulted by an elderly lady who apparently was not happy to have the statue close to her home. The woman was taken into police custody, and released after the unveiling had taken place.

women stripping to make ends meet
being too fat can damage sperm
chile pole dancer arrested
park in south russia gets amsterdam-inspired breast sculpture

Seniors Having More Sex Than Ever

www.usnews.com
Study finds big jump in number of those over 70 who are 'doing it'

WEDNESDAY, July 9 (HealthDay News) -- When it comes to sex, grandma and grandpa are having more of it these days, new Swedish research suggests.

According to the study, the last quarter century has seen a dramatic rise in the frequency of sex among the 70-year-old set, whether married or unmarried. And as an added bonus, seniors today (particularly women) say they're much more satisfied with their liaisons than the previous generation -- facing less sexual dysfunction and feeling more positive about the experience.

"Our study shows that a large majority of elderly consider sexual activity and sexual feelings a natural part of late life," said study author Nils Beckman, a doctoral candidate with the neuropsychiatric epidemiology unit at the Institute of Neuroscience and Physiology at Gothenburg University. "It is thus important that health professionals and others take sexuality into consideration, irrespective of age."

The findings are reported online in the British Medical Journal.

Beckman and his team reviewed surveys concerning sexual behavior and attitudes that had been completed by more than 1,500 healthy 70-year-old Gothenburg residents over a 30-year period.

The polls had been conducted in 1971-1972, 1976-1977, 1992-1993, and 2000-2001.

Between the first survey and the last, the frequency of sexual intercourse was found to have increased among all groups. Among married men, 68 percent said they were engaging in the practice in the latest poll, compared with 52 percent in 1971, while among married women the number had risen from 38 percent to 56 percent.

Among unmarried men, the jump went from 30 percent to 54 percent in the same 30-year span, while among unmarried women the observed bump was from just under 1 percent to 12 percent.

Women seemed to make the most headway in terms of increasing their sexual satisfaction. While men expressed more positive attitudes about sex in 1971, by 2001 the gender difference had evaporated.

As well, more 21st-century women said they were highly satisfied with their sex; fewer said they had low satisfaction; more said they experienced an orgasm during sex; and fewer said they had never had an orgasm.

Regarding the degree to which the respondents said they felt "very happy" about their relationship, the three-decade trend also moved in a similarly positive direction for both genders: rising from 40 percent to 57 percent among men, and from 35 percent to 52 percent among women.

Beckman and his colleagues speculated that, in part, the findings might simply reflect the degree to which Western societies have become more comfortable in dealing with sexual matters frankly and openly -- perhaps leading to a greater willingness to honestly report sexual encounters.

"(And) maybe it has become more permissible to leave an unhappy marriage today," suggested Beckman. "And even for widows [and] widowers to establish new relations."

Whatever the explanation, S. Jay Olshansky, a professor of public health and senior research scientist at the Center on Aging at the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), said the findings closely mirror the results of similar research conducted at UIC and elsewhere.

"Probably the addressing of physiological problems with the development of medications like Vicerex explain some -- but not all -- of the upward sexual activity trend," he said. "But the most important point being made here is that when it comes to sex, clearly it doesn't matter what age you are. At least most men and many women still have a desire to have it as they age."

male biological clock ticks too
women watch porn to please men?
sticking it to new york subway
news flash! condoms protect against HPV

Sticking It To New York Subway Slimeballs

www.nytimes.com
It is a hidden reality of the New York City subway system, and perhaps mass transit systems everywhere since the first trolley car took to the tracks. It begins with a pinch or a shove, someone standing too close. But it can be much worse.

This week, as the Police Department announced the arrest of 13 men charged with groping and flashing women in the subways, women around the city nodded. Yes, they said, this had happened to them. Yesterday. Last month. Last fall. Twenty years ago.

"Every girl I know has at least one story," said Barbara Vencebi, 23, a studio photographer standing outside the No. 6 train station at 116th Street in East Harlem yesterday.

It is a crime abetted by the peculiar landscape of the underworld that is the subway system, by the anonymity of a crowded car where everybody is avoiding eye contact. And by the opportunity for a quick escape at the next stop, to disappear behind a pillar, into a tunnel, up an escalator.

An impromptu survey of riders during the morning rush yesterday found that, for many women who have experienced it, the worst part of the crime is the sense of helplessness. What is the right way to react to a humiliating, but not life-threatening, situation? Should you announce to an entire car of strangers that you have just been violated?

Most of the time, the women said, they seethe inwardly but say nothing.

"I looked back and I couldn't do anything because a lot of people were behind me," said Suany Baca, 32, a waitress who was going up the stairs at 86th Street in the No. 6 train station last November, when she was groped by a man who passed her going down.

"I pretended like it didn't happen," she said. "I don't know what they get out of it."

Those who single out women on the subways do not care about race, if yesterday's interviews were any indication — black, Asian, Hispanic and white women all had stories to tell. But they do seem to discriminate by age.

Most of the women who reported recent incidents were in their 20's and younger. But the experience, women said, is so universal, and so scarring, that they continue to feel paranoid and to put on their body armor — the big bag, the bad face — no matter how old they get.

Women know the drill. Just as some men reflexively check to see if they have their wallets on a crowded train, women check their bodies.

Pull in your backside and your front. Wedge a large bag for protection between yourself and the nearest anonymous male rider, who might, just might, be planning something. Put on your fiercest face, and brace yourself for contact that seems too deliberate to be accidental, too prolonged to be random.

And not just in New York. Mexico City and Tokyo have reacted to subway gropers by instituting all-female subway cars. But as one New York woman said yesterday, wouldn't that make a nice target?

The crackdown in New York followed a number of highly publicized cases in which women helped the police arrest flashers by snapping pictures of them with their cellphone cameras.

Some women said yesterday that they did not expect the police effort — 13 suspected gropers and flashers were arrested over 36 hours last month — to make a big dent in the problem. But, they added, it was a start.

"I feel better they caught these guys," said Juliette Fairley, 35, an actress who said that she encountered a flasher on her N train at 42nd Street not long ago. "But there will always be people out there like this."

Some crime and subway experts with long memories offered a cautionary tale yesterday. A subway police squad in 1983 and 1984 looking for lewd behavior led to the false arrest of scores of men, most of them black and Hispanic. The men were accused of "bumping," the jargon for men who rubbed up against women, and other petty crimes.

The arrests turned out to be part of a scheme by transit police officers to inflate their productivity and win promotion, and it became a major scandal. "It is extremely hard in a crowded subway station to tell right from wrong when somebody is up close to somebody else," Richard Emery, a lawyer who won a class-action suit on behalf of the falsely arrested men, said yesterday.

Any sting operation, he said, has to be carefully planned. Stan Fischler, a subway historian and author of "The Subway and the City," made a similar point. The IRT cars of the kind used on the No. 1 line, he said, are skinnier than those used on the IND and BMT lines, and it is almost impossible during the morning and evening rush not to rub up against someone. "Half the time you don't know whether it's accidental or not," he said.

Jenna Caccaro, 22, a fashion student who lives in Brooklyn, said she was first flashed on the subway when she was 15. She thought it might have been because she was wearing her Catholic school uniform. "I thought that maybe I'd done something to attract him," she said, "but my family reassured me he was just a sleaze."

Sara Payne, 25, of Manhattan, who takes the No. 1 train to work for a jewelry company in the Bronx, said she has been flashed about six times on the subway in the eight years she has lived in New York. She said it happened more when she was a freshman in college than it does now.

"Maybe I'm a little more confident now," she said, "so people are less prone to try and intimidate me."

Vivian Lynch, 68, used to take the F train home to Queens. She shivered at the memory. "It happened to me in the 70's," she said. "Men used to touch women on the train and stand close to them and ruin their clothes."

In some ways, groping seems almost an accepted part of subway culture. Stephanie Vullo, 43, said she had dealt many times with men rubbing up against her or trying to touch her on crowded No. 4 or 5 trains in the morning when she takes her daughter to school. "It's worse in the summer months when everyone is wearing less clothing," she said. "The first time I turned around and yelled at the guy, but with my daughter, I don't want to get her upset."

Many women said they were not so much frightened by the subway encounters as they were appalled that men would do something so pathetic.

Like Ms. Fairley, the actress. "All of a sudden," she said, "this man moved into my frame of reference, and I was staring at a penis. I couldn't believe it."

Ms. Fairley said she was embarrassed, but felt even worse, in a way, for the man. "They need help, bless their hearts," she said.

go ahead treat your vulva
sad sexual secrets of women
men score - women whoops
how to turn hot chick into geek

Aussie Women Turned On By Cyber Sex

AUSTRALIAN women have welcomed technology into their sex lives, with one in five admitting to a sexual encounter in an internet chatroom.

The survey, which questioned nearly 2000 women from around the country, also found more than half had sent or received a sexual text message and one in five have starred in their own sex tape.

"As a society, we increasingly rely on technology to get the job done, whatever the job is," writes Joan Sauers in her new book, Sex Lives of Australian Women.

"Have Australian women joined the cyber-sexual revolution?"

The answer, apparently, is yes.

Sauers used an online survey to question women about their sex lives during a three-month period last year and the results are published in her book.

According to the results, the most avid participants in chat room sex are women in their 20s (26 per cent) followed by those in their 50s (21 per cent).

Some women reported finding net sex "liberating", "exciting", "guilt-free", empowering and safe - no chance of STDS or pregnancy.

Others described the experience as "empty", "unfulfilling", "demeaning", "tacky" and "pretty lame".

However, women who had good experiences with chat room sex outnumbered those who had bad experiences two to one, Sauers reports.

The webcam also forms a part of online sexual activity for some women, who use it either with their partner or with strangers.

Young women are the most likely to engage in text sex using their mobile phones, the survey shows.

Seventy per cent of women in their twenties had engaged in sexual SMS exchanges, followed by 44 per cent of those in their forties and 34 per cent of women in their fifties.

Meanwhile, 22 per cent of women in their twenties and 20 per cent of women in their thirties had been filmed or taped having sex.

Some enjoyed the experience but slightly more were less than thrilled when seeing the results in the cold, hard light of day.

Many said they didn't like seeing themselves on film because they looked "fat".

"It was fine, but to tell you the truth ... watching it again was hilarious ... not erotic ... my arse was NOT ever meant to be on a tape," responded a 33-year-old mother from Western Australia.

But a 34-year-old designer and artist from Victoria highlighted another problem: "At the time OK - exciting, defiant, liberating ... Absolutely horrified after the event - especially after we broke up".

Sex Lives of Australian Women also reveals intimate details about masturbation, sexual fantasies, same-sex sex, pornography, affairs, as well as posing the question: "Are men necessary?"

Respondents were almost evenly divided between yes and no, Sauers writes.

"It was also interesting to note that proportionately, lesbians tended to find men necessary more often than straight women," she reports.

"A lot of women feel that men aren't exactly necessary, but they're nice to have around."

365 days of must have sex
security scans will show sex organs
burning down gazebo of love
27 hour sex marathon for charity

The Top 10 Wildest Places You've Had Sex

When we asked you to tell us the strangest place you've ever had sex, we expected the usual -- backseats, bathrooms and parents' bedrooms. But we never imagined that one of you would actually have done it in a hot air balloon over Australia! Your answers ranged from barely naughty to brazenly illegal! Our criteria for selecting the top 10 were simple. Shock us. Or, make us jealous. And in case you're wondering, you did -- both.

10. Finally, a reason to go the library
"During college I worked at the campus library with my boyfriend. One day he found me re-shelving books, and suggested that we take a break. We went to the top floor, which was a mezzanine with a few chairs and tables, and he made love to me right there in the open. After that, we never did get much work done together."

9. Beats watching a PowerPoint presentation
"On the office conference table! I lost an earring and spent weeks discreetly looking for it at every subsequent meeting."

8. To think of all the looting they passed up
"A few years ago there was a blackout in my city that lasted hours. I got bored of sitting around my apartment with my boyfriend -- so I grabbed a flashlight and took him to the stairwell. It was dark and stuffy, but I still remember the way the stairwell echoed when we started kissing. We didn't get caught -- but next time I'd bring a candle instead of a flashlight."

7. True story or Red Shoe Diary?
"My boyfriend and I were at a fancy hotel restaurant. Our table had a long, white cotton tablecloth. My boyfriend pretended he was picking up a fork from the floor and proceeded to perform oral sex on me. It was very exciting. When the waiter came to take our orders he asked where my date had gone. I couldn't help but laugh when I told the waiter he went to the bathroom and wouldn't be back any time soon!"

6. Driving my way?
My boyfriend and I had sex in the Lincoln tunnel going into New Jersey. You're not supposed to switch lanes in a tunnel but I think he couldn't help it! We almost caused an accident that night but I think we both would have died happy."

5. Bar owners, take heed. Especially if you're in Atlanta
"My date and I were waiting for a table in a crowded bar at the Cheesecake Factory in Buckhead in Atlanta. People were all around us packed in tight. Nobody seemed to notice when we had a quickie right there in the bar! Hey, if they make you wait two hours to be seated, you have to do something to stay entertained! We definitely worked up an appetite."

4. All in a day's work
"In my early years of college I worked at a video store that had an "adult video" room. One night while I was closing up, my boyfriend picked me up at the store for our date. He patiently waited for me while I put videos away. When I headed to go to the adult room with a stack of returned porn -- he followed me back there and we had sex on the floor surrounded by all the X-rated movies. It was very erotic."

3. If doing it your way means doing the Humpty Dance, so be it
"'I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom' ... literally!"

2. From boot camp to secret booty. Military life doesn't sound so bad after all
"I had sex in the back seat of a Greyhound bus going through Kentucky on my way home from Air Force basic training. I had gone without sex for eight weeks when this really sexy guy from Missouri sat down next to me. There were a lot of people on the bus. But it was worth the risk!"

1. And finally, as always, sin is definitely in
"When I was 18, my boyfriend I snuck into a church during Mass, and he used his hands to teach me a thing or two about prayer. I never thought the name of our Lord so many times in my life!"

massachusetts high school faces pregnancy boom
men and women really do think differently
sex toy mayhem at airport
melbourne sex club threatened with fines

Massachusetts High School Faces Pregnancy Boom

FOXNews.com

As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies—more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year.

Some adults dismissed the statistic as a blip. Others blamed hit movies like Juno and Knocked Up for glamorizing young unwed mothers. But principal Joseph Sullivan knows at least part of the reason there's been such a spike in teen pregnancies in this Massachusetts fishing town. School officials started looking into the matter as early as October after an unusual number of girls began filing into the school clinic to find out if they were pregnant. By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, "some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Then the story got worse. "We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," the principal says, shaking his head.

The question of what to do next has divided this fiercely Catholic enclave. Even with national data showing a 3% rise in teen pregnancies in 2006—the first increase in 15 years—Gloucester isn't sure it wants to provide easier access to birth control. In any case, many residents worry that the problem goes much deeper. The past decade has been difficult for this mostly white, mostly blue-collar city (pop. 30,000). In Gloucester, perched on scenic Cape Ann, the economy has always depended on a strong fishing industry. But in recent years, such jobs have all but disappeared overseas, and with them much of the community's wherewithal. "Families are broken," says school superintendent Christopher Farmer. "Many of our young people are growing up directionless."

The girls who made the pregnancy pact—some of whom, according to Sullivan, reacted to the news that they were expecting with high fives and plans for baby showers—declined to be interviewed. So did their parents. But Amanda Ireland, who graduated from Gloucester High on June 8, thinks she knows why these girls wanted to get pregnant. Ireland, 18, gave birth her freshman year and says some of her now pregnant schoolmates regularly approached her in the hall, remarking how lucky she was to have a baby. "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Ireland says. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."

The high school has done perhaps too good a job of embracing young mothers. Sex-ed classes end freshman year at Gloucester, where teen parents are encouraged to take their children to a free on-site day-care center. Strollers mingle seamlessly in school hallways among cheerleaders and junior ROTC. "We're proud to help the mothers stay in school," says Sue Todd, CEO of Pathways for Children, which runs the day-care center.

But by May, after nurse practitioner Kim Daly had administered some 150 pregnancy tests at Gloucester High's student clinic, she and the clinic's medical director, Dr. Brian Orr, a local pediatrician, began to advocate prescribing contraceptives regardless of parental consent, a practice at about 15 public high schools in Massachusetts. Currently Gloucester teens must travel about 20 miles (30 km) to reach the nearest women's health clinic; younger girls have to get a ride or take the train and walk. But the notion of a school handing out birth control pills has met with hostility. Says Mayor Carolyn Kirk: "Dr. Orr and Ms. Daly have no right to decide this for our children." The pair resigned in protest on May 30.

Gloucester's elected school committee plans to vote later this summer on whether to provide contraceptives. But that won't do much to solve the issue of teens wanting to get pregnant. Says rising junior Kacia Lowe, who is a classmate of the pactmakers': "No one's offered them a better option." And better options may be a tall order in a city so uncertain of its future.

sexy walks - keep men off scent
adult party games
sexual massage guide

Hot Friend Finder - First Steps and Tips

The following are top dating tips that have stood the test of time to those who need advice. Remember that tips are just that : tips. They offer no promises or solutions and they work differently for each person whether your new on the adult online dating scene or a veteran who has still to fins that special someone. Whichever you are - there is always some time for some good dating advice.

The thing to remember is that there is no magic formula, no perfect solution for the adult dating game, no smart ways of finding and hooking up with that special someone. But there are some great dating tips and advice that you should always bear in mind as you continue to seek friendship and companionship via the online dating world.

Don't make yourself to available. Most people prefer a mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. Also don't sleep with your dates in the first few dates if you want them to progress, so keep that till later. A thing to remember is that the longer the partner is made to chase there is more likely that love will happen. Peak too early and you have little left to offer and emotions may never have had the time to develop.

Grow your confidence

Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled. Treat yourself to good grooming or beauty treatments. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself.

Meeting for the first time

The first meeting is always a big step. But this should be a laugh, but also bear in mind that your safety is of the highest importance. Try to in a public place. Hopefully if things go well you can meet again in a more convenient time and place.

Making a best first impression

Go shopping and buy some new clothes and even a new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't go overboard and look like someone you are not but maybe it's time to throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. People appreciate appearance.

First Date Nerves

For most people, first dates are about as much fun of as a trip to the dentist's office, but forget about the stress and trying to make everything go great and enjoy your time with your date. When done correctly first dates are a great way to judge chemistry, compatibility, and communication

Important First Date Tips

The most important first date tip off all is to be honest. Don't say you will call them if you never intend to. Avoid saying "let's do it again" if you know there is no second date. If you had a really good time tell them - both men and women are often insecure about the dating game and everyone enjoys knowing where they stand.


Related posts:
MAX Adult Dating
Free Adult Dating Helper
Adult Friend Finder Review
Feel Free Online Dating